List or Option freaks, how to deal with both
Two staff, one inflexible about lists and one never finishes. - a key point of difference
Does this ring a bell with you? Myers Briggs is a complex theory about preferences of the individual. You may have heard some people talk about being an ENTP, or INTJ, or the like. I might write about this broad topic later, once I brush up on my study, but for now I would like to focus on the last component. Let me tell you two great stories I was told years ago by an expert in this field. No credits here as I cannot remember who the persons name…
Mr J Smith comes home after a long week of work. Seeing Mrs P Smith in the hallway, he states that he has had a hard week and would like them both to go out to dinner. Mrs P agrees. Mr J then asks where she would like to go. Mrs P mentions a few local places, commenting on their location, the ease of parking and favourite dishes. Mr J is keen to get going so asks which of the three she would like to go to. To his surprise, Mrs P says none of them, all for varying reasons. He asks again, where she would like to go. Non-committal, she mentions a few other options and key features. For Mr J, time is slipping by so he pushes for another decision. But none is forthcoming. At a loss to why Mrs P keeps mentioning places she does not want to go, he finally asks in frustration where specifically she does not want to go. To this she answered with a short list, that he happily crossed off, leaving an obvious choice that they went to and had a wonderful night. He actually asked the exact correct question. - I'll come back to this.
Mr J manages a small group of people at work. Miss P is a bright new staff member who being quite creative, has more than her fair share of ideas. While Mr J has always said he is open to new ideas, she is continually frustrated by his reaction every time she raises one of hers. While not ignoring the idea, he appears to push back and, well, moan about the inconvenience of changing what already is in place, albeit often little. Another staff member advises Miss P to write the idea down. Go to Mr J's door and say "I have an idea, here are the details. Can we talk about it tomorrow?" then turn immediately and walk away. She found that the following day when they discussed the idea, he was a lot more receptive and the feeling of rejection was not there.
These stories clearly describe the typical behaviour and the best method of dealing with two types of preferences about structure that we all have in one direction or the other.
A 'P' type likes options, they love the feel of freedom of choice and how one option compares to others in different ways. They don't like rigid lists and final sign off, being more interested in the journey and the potential for new ideas than the destination. You may know someone like this. And the best way to find out is ask them what they like to eat and then ask them what they don't like. A type 'P' will either say they don't mind or give a whole range of options for the first, showing no real preference and it will be quite a conversational answer. The second answer will be a short sharp decisive list. Type 'P's KNOW WHAT THEY DON"T WANT. The key is to force closure by taking their first list and simply asking which they do not want. Sounds easy, but it does take practice.
A J type likes lists. They like to start at the top and methodically work their way down it ticking off each as they go. You cannot interrupt a 'J'. If it's not on their list, it simply does not exist. When faced with a 'list change' a 'J' will moan. And that is the key to dealing with them. As Miss P did above, give the 'J' MOAN SPACE. Let them deal with the disappointment of a list gone wrong. After time, they will be able to process the impact of the change on their plan and discuss the matter more from the 'P's perspective of a new option.
As leaders of people it is great if using this simple understanding we can learn to deal with different people in a way that works best for their preferences.
This is just the most basic lesson and advantage that can be gained from an understanding of the MBTI.
For further information you can browse http://www.myresbriggs.org or click on the links below for a list of the many books on the subject.
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>>> Search for US references
Cheers
Steve.
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